I am using a 3rd party mailing list company.  I have created a link in my right column to sign up which is fine.  At the same time I have un-checked the "newsletter request" in store settings.

However when a customer registers the opt-in box still shows.  So my question is two-fold:

1)  How do I get rid of the "opt-in" link?

2) Or how do I set up the opt-in link on the registration page to go to my third party company? 

Currently there is no method to do either option 1 or option 2. If you like, you can submit a support request asking for this to be added to the feature request queue or have it quoted for custom development.